Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize