he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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