Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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