He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize