so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
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hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
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I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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