Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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