So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize