how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize