Don't you send me to vm
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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