Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize