On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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