I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize