I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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