is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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