We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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