why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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