you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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