Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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