Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
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Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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