I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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