So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
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I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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