Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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