Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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