I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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