Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize