remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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