remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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