im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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