I wish they made helmets for livers.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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