Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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