Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize