He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize