ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize