I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you can't waste a boner
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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