he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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