you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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