I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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