I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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