i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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