her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize