This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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