Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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