just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize