I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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