We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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