I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are two peas in an std pod
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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