He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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