I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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