So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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