I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
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She even gives head with a lisp.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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